What a Surprise

“The toughest part of parenthood has nothing to do with putting food on the table, clothes in the closet, or tuition money in the bank.  The toughest part of parenthood is never knowing if you’re doing the right thing.”                      

D.L. Stewart (Columnist)

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I think it’s really a shame that children are not born with a manual attached to them to let you know exactly how to raise them. They all come with the propensity to be rebellious (some would call it their “sin nature”) and perhaps that’s the ONLY thing they all have in common. They all come with unique characteristics and therefore it makes it that much harder to parent them.  One thing for sure, what works with one, nine times out of ten, doesn’t work with another. I’ve learned that it takes a number of years to figure out what’s best for each child in particular and by that time, they are all grown and on their own. When you look back, you can’t seem to figure out what happened, when, how or why. There are so many things to teach them. It starts off with setting schedules – nap time, bedtime, mealtime, play time, quiet time, etc. Then it graduates to exploring their world – knowing things, forming good habits, becoming self-sufficient. My mother-in-law used to admonish me about getting the children up and dressed early. From the time they were infants I would have them fully dressed, the girls’ hair combed, (along with shoes) early in the morning. I told her that part of my job as a parent was to prepare them early to know what is expected of them on a daily basis. First of all, everybody has something to do during the day. There would be no laying around. Get ready to go out even if it winded up that we weren’t going anywhere. But this way, if we needed to go out, we were ready – “Be Prepared”.

I always worried as to how my children would turn out because contrary to my childhood upbringing, I didn’t give the children regularly scheduled “assigned” chores. When I was young, we had certain chores that had to be done and done at a certain time, in a certain way. The chores were assigned by weeks. Because I always hated that, I decided that I wouldn’t be so rigid about chores. There were things that needed to be done and we all chipped in and got them done – period!!! The common areas had to be cleaned but I didn’t require them to clean their rooms because I felt that their rooms were their own personal space. The rules were simple: (1) no food in the room and (2) there must be a clear pathway to the door in case I had to get them out in a hurry. Consequently, their rooms were always a mess!!!! Attending “Open School Night” for Yamil in first grade I was extremely apprehensive. What was his area going to look like at school? All the parents filed into the classroom and sat down at their child’s desk. Imagine my surprise when I looked in Yamil’s desk and everything was EXTREMELY neat!!  Not only were his books stacked but they were in perfect size place order; his pencils and pens were lined up perfectly from shortest to longest. His teacher raved about how organized he was. Surprisingly enough, this characteristic rang true for all three of them. I came to learn that my children were very different outside of the house then when they were inside.  Inside, they always fought each other – everything was a competition. Every day I would recite Ephesians 4:32 to them….”Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as Christ for God’s sake, has forgiven you”. . I had a series of tapes that I got for them. They seemed to like “GT and the Halo Express” the best. These were a series of tapes with stories and music that teach and solidify God’s word.  Every night before they went to sleep, I would play a tape for them.  We would put the tape player between the two rooms and they could decide on which tape they would listen to that night. We also had “Patch the Pirate” tapes that focused on Bible verses. Even when deciding what tape to listen to there was competition.  “You picked last night”, “it’s my turn”., etc. Many nights I was just exasperated with how competitive they were with each other.

Equally important as scheduling, routines and order, was developing their character. I was fortunate enough to be able to send the children to a Christian school. The school was very small and turned out to be a very caring and nurturing multicultural environment. Even though it was small, there were several very talented children and teachers alike. Academically they learned everything necessary. My only complaint was their lack of sports. I managed to supplement that by being involved in the community sports programs. It is my belief that even more important than academic learning is spiritual development. If you have the right mind set, the right motivation, along with an academically conducive environment, the academics will come. Two years after Yamil graduated, it was Maya’s turn. Graduation day was always very special to me. It’s one of the few times that parents get to feel some accomplishment – they get to feel like maybe they did something right after many years of struggle. There were several awards and distinctions given out at a ceremony that took place the night before the actual graduation. I always looked forward to that part of the graduation ceremony just to see how gifted a lot of the children were that went to the school; however, the highest award, the “Pastor’s Award” was given out on graduation day.   This award was awarded each year to a student that was chosen by the faculty and staff for outstanding Christian character, spiritual leadership, academic excellence, and exemplary social relationships.  Graduation day finally arrived. Family and friends came to share in the celebration. Everything was going along nicely.  It finally came time for the “Pastor’s Award” to be given out.  The principal took the stage and proceeded to read the following:

The student chosen this year has enjoyed a Christian education all her life. It began in her home with a dedication to bringing up a child “in the training and instruction of the Lord”. (Ephesians 6:4b). She has responded well to her Christian education at home and at school and has grown “in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ”. (2 Peter 6:18).

She has attended Lanham Christian School for 11 years, beginning in second grade. During her high school years, she has exercised a quiet leadership by example. She has been active in athletics, Student Government and in the fine arts. She has been an exemplary student consistently achieving honor roll honors. She has demonstrated a consistent Christ-like demeanor throughout her years at LCS.

This student is held in high esteem by her friends, fellow students and the faculty and staff of our school. Her devotion to Christ is sincere and consistent. We look for God’s continued blessings upon her as a faithful servant of our Lord.

In view of these exceptional qualifications, I am pleased to present the 2002 Lanham Christian School Pastor’s Award to:

MAYA PIRELA!

You can’t imagine how shocked I was!! Never once did I consider that it would be Maya.  It’s moments like those that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I guess what I want to say is simply that it starts at home. Things don’t have to be perfect. You may not have a lot of “things” but perseverance, consistency, dedication to a higher calling, kindness, genuine respect and affection, along with much prayer, goes a long way.

“Home is the place where character is built, where sacrifices to contribute to the happiness of others are made, and where love has taken up its abode.”               

Elijah Kellogg (1813-1901) Cleric