I decided early on that I’m definitely NOT a southern girl. I know they say that southern girls have charm and all that – but there’s something to be said for sassy, city girls that’s unmatchable!!!!! Although both my parents were from the south, the key word in that sentence is WERE. Even they decided that the south wasn’t for them. OK, I admit that their reasons for coming to the north had nothing, or very little to do with my reasons for not preferring the south. As a young child, sometime during July, my mother would take my sister and me, and later on my brother as well, to her “home” of South Carolina. Interestingly enough, both my parents were from South Carolina, mom from Due West, S.C. and my father from Orangeburg, SC.
They found each other in the great state of New York with all its lights and busyness in what they eventually would make their permanent home – Brooklyn. Going to grandma’s house during the summer months was always a big change for us. We would go from a small, cramped concrete project apartment in an overpopulated, over-stimulated, congested city, to a big farmhouse in the middle of nowhere with nothing but corn fields, red clay dirt, a well that provided water and the absolute worst, an outhouse!!!! Being young, we couldn’t complain we just went where our mother took us and made the most of it. I did enjoy the train ride from N.Y. to South Carolina. My mother would always make us a new outfit for the trip. She would pack us a lunch and we got to pick out books to take along for the long ride. The entire trip would take about 12 hours. The nice part was we got to spend time with our cousins and we had a great deal of freedom to explore. The not so nice part was that it was always soooooo hot!!!! There were days even after we stopped going to the farm and would visit Greenville, SC where my aunt lived, that we could not go out during the day because the heat was so oppressive. We had no air conditioning so it made sleeping, in particular, very uncomfortable. Did I mention the infestation of bugs or all kinds – grasshoppers, mosquitoes, skunks, possums, lizards, praying mantis, water bugs, spiders? Later on I found out that those creatures were not just confined to South Carolina but also, Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, Florida (just to name a few). Not only that, the creatures got a lot bigger – like alligators and snakes!! As an adult I spent one year in New Orleans and I’ll tell you, that had to be the worst!!!! Everything felt wet all the time. Talk about a bad hair day – well I had a bad hair year!!! It seems that the temperature during the summer never dropped below 85 degrees even at night. That heat, combined with the sweltering humidity causes condensation on everything. Let’s not talk about the almost daily hurricane warnings during the summer months. I lived in a townhouse in Metairie, LA, The townhouse was quite nice with a beautiful courtyard; however, each time I returned home I would hold the house key in my hand and literally sprint down the walkway focusing only on the door knob. Once I got close enough, I would lunge at the door trying not to look around for fear of seeing any of those wonderful little creatures playing outside. In sheer panic, I would jam the key in the lock, run inside and slam the door. Unfortunately, oftentimes after being inside safely, or so I thought, I would often see a giant water bug waiting on the other side to welcome me home. The mere suggestion of an impending storm warranted the advice to board up the windows and make sure to stay away from the windows. I was truly ready to get on the first plane leaving for NY. There’s something very comforting about being in your hometown where things are familiar, where I pretty much know what to expect. I’m not used to snakes and alligators and a sewer system above ground which gives off an odor that you smell upon stepping off the airplane. They have beautiful cafes and lots of outdoor gardens but I’m convinced that those were made for the creepy, crawly creatures and not for humans. There’s no way you can enjoy eating outside. It’s often standing room only for humans if you want some privacy, The creatures definitely have that on lockdown. Everything about the South is not bad and I do realize that the northern parts of the country have their share of problems – like over-crowdedness and noise and mice and roaches in NYC, in particular, but here in Maryland, I do see an occasional butterfly, not to mention the exquisite birds that come by and rest on the deck in the back of the house; and honestly, the deer are quite beautiful as well even if they wind up eating the pretty flowers in the yard. Most mornings I can step out of my front door and take in the coolness of morning before the day heats up. I marvel at it all, the change of the seasons, the richness of the trees, the wonder of nature. I choose to focus on all that’s beautiful around me as each new day brings a new set of challenges just to remind me that I’m still in it. Sometimes I need those reminders that despite the inconveniences, and all that’s wrong in the world, I’ve been given another chance, another opportunity to share in this life experience and I marvel at how truly blessed I am. Southern girl – I’m not!!! I remain that sassy city girl from up north somewhere!!!
8 Responses
I thoroughly enjoyed your post! As your southern cousin who spent the last 36 years in New Jersey and just recently relocated back to the south, it is GOOD to be home! I spent most days over the last three decades reminding anyone with ears that I was not a northerner and claiming the South with a badge of honor. I spent many years as a child protesting and defiantly spending every summer in the south and not going back to NJ until after Labor Day. When I got to college I bought my very first plane ticket to Greenville, SC for winter break and when I got my first decent car I braved the 12 hour drive to Greenville by myself.
I love bugs, heat, grass, flowers, church all day on Sundays, the sound of bull frogs and critters with no faces, and fresh clean air.
One of the things I learned about myself after being back in the south over the last 9 months is that I’ve developed a northern edge. I’m learning to be a nicer driver, to not tell people off in stores, say yes ma’am and no sir to everyone within reason, and that Sunday mornings are for church.
It’s always so interesting to have this perception that my family is from the south and to realize that most of my cousins and my mother’s first cousins are not southerners. It wasn’t until I saw my cousin Shirley’s 4th of July pictures that I realized how strongly my northern cousins “repped” their hometown as much as I loved being a southerner.
I kept my nephews and both of my goddaughters this summer and I’ve had the time of my life trying to recreate a southern summer for them. If only I could find some corn for them to shuck under a hot carport or someone to take them fishing. I’m not bold enough to hang a clothes line out back and teach them how to hang clothes. Three of my college girlfriends came to visit for a week and they teased me for still having the same old school black and decker iron from college and starching everything with Niagra spray starch. Of course my iron is a replica but I’m sure my grandmother is proud.
I love the diversity in our family. I love knowing that our family participated in the great migration. And I absolutely love being the only granddaughter of the “Aunt Net” that everyone came down South to either visit or stay with in the summers. I feel like my Nana would want me to host everyone in the summer and I’m absolutely smitten that many of my family members have made the trip.
Jeanette, I can’t wait to see you in a couple of weeks and yes the heat will be unbearable and there are lots of bugs. The boys have threatened to go back home to NJ if I don’t turn on the air, so in spite of my better judgement there is air conditioning at least 20 hours a day!
lol. I have to admit that I have a lot of very fond memories of my summers in South Carolina although those fond memories are more to do with the people. I always felt protected and safe. I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything! I’m so glad that you’re a part of my family and I always enjoy our times together whether we are in the North or South. I’m looking forward to seeing you at the end of the month and yes, PLEASE put on the air conditioning!!!
I never knew your parents were from South Carolina!!! Another reason you and my mom were destined to be best friends !
Absolutely!!!
This is so interesting, your story and Kia’s response. It truly shows a difference in perspective, in this case based on where u both grew up. I just returned from NC, the same place i spent all my childhood summers and I’m happy to report that some things have changed… for the better. Central AC is the great equalizer! The steady march of civilization is also all around. Now when i go south i can still keep exercising at Planet Fitness! Amazing!!! A mere 13 miles away is my go-to-gym, Marshall’s, Ross, Big Lots and multiple restaurants and supermarkets. Gone r the days when Piggly Wiggly was king. For me, summer was as miserable on Bergen St as it was in NC. No air, sometimes no fan and a bedrm next to the kitchen was not fun. Brownstones only have windows in the front and back so…Heat radiated from the sidewalks. 🔥 🔥 🔥
Anyway, enjoy ur trip to SC and let us know all about it in a future post ❤️
I definitely will. That’s providing I survive the heat!!!
Great story. I’m always teasing you about living in the south but I live in NYC so every place outside of there is southern.
My only experience of being in the deep south was when we went to visit my dad’s family in Baton Rouge. They had an out house. That was 50 years ago and I can still remember seeing those wiggily things in the bowl. It was at that time that I made a commitment to remain a staunch New Yorker.
A few years ago when I came to visit you, in Maryland, I came face to face with a vulture. Well, not face to face but that was the biggest bird I ever saw. I asked myself, “Is Godzilla from Maryland?”
I couldn’t wait to get back to New York where I felt right at home. Look, there’s a giant rat and a homeless person sitting in the corner of the subway car.
Lady J,
You fervently brought me back to Lively, VA, a place that I spent many summers in and was ALWAYS glad to return north from – even to the heat and overcrowding of The South Bronx!! (At least we had fire hydrants to illegally turn on a d refresh ourselves (and a few very angry cab drivers) with.
Contrasts make paintings and places and people interesting! You painted a few fabulous ones – giant NY subway escapee rats comfortably sharing a corner with a homeless dude. Now that’s hilarious- but I have seen to also, so it’s true!!
Thanks for the ‘Sassy’ note! I enjoyed it!!!
Mr Warren