That’s What Friends are for – Part II

Painting by Lovie Jordan

“We should always have three friends in our lives – one who walks ahead who we look up to and follow; one who walks beside us, who is with us every step of our journey; and then, one who we reach back for and bring along after we’ve cleared the way\”. ………….Michelle Obama

Now about that Tuskegee graduation …..

It seemed like just a short while before that I had dropped Yamil off at school. It was a time of excitement and worry all at the same time. My first born would be far from me – someplace that I knew virtually nothing about. I knew he would have many challenges ahead but since he’s my most resourceful child, I was confident that he would be able to figure things out – whatever came up. I felt that his resourcefulness, along with his easy going nature, would serve him well. He’s very social and friendly so I was sure that he would find his niche of friends and settle in just fine. Equipped with all his important papers, a very small bank account and plenty of prayers and good wishes, I left him there.

Returning home, after having settled him in at school, the house felt different. There was a certain emptiness, a void, a decrease in energy clearly evident. As I sat on his bed and looked around I knew that things would never be the same again. My son was moving on into adulthood. I felt good about him being brave enough to go so far from home.  He had decided on a very hard major – Architecture – which was a five-year program.

I had done the best I knew how to raise him, trying always to be conscious of the example I was setting. Teaching, not just him but the girls as well, about the importance of persevering and completing tasks – about honesty and integrity above all. After all, we were many years post that 6 year old  who was stealing things out of the store and that 7 year old who was cheating on his math test in second grade (SMH). I was just praying that all those lectures and hard lessons would pay off. The bonus is that not only did I see all those traits blossom in him but so much more.

During the course of the five years he spent at Tuskegee, Yamil struggled with a few classes – one of which was a math class. He took the class a few times. Entering into his last year he even took the class over the summer. He checked to make sure that the credits would transfer. After getting the OK, he took the class and actually passed it. He was on track to graduate on time. A couple of months before the graduation, they informed him that he was short 1 credit to graduate. It was important that I knew if he was graduating on time because I would have to make arrangements to go. Every week I would call and ask if he was truly graduating. He kept assuring me that he would graduate on time. It seems that instead of accepting the 4 credits for his math class taken over the summer, they only accepted 3. It would be up to him to argue his case with the counselor. Graduation would be on Mother’s Day just about two weeks before Nayda’s prom and Maya’s return from Spain.  I needed to reserve a van to make the almost 15hr trip from Maryland to Alabama. As with every major event, I enlisted my two closest friends to make the trip with me. One was my girlfriend in NY, Roz who had helped me with getting Maya back home after returning from Spain…she’s my friend that walks ahead, leading the way, the risk taker, full of life – always spreading joy wherever she goes, and the other was my girlfriend, Barbara, who I’ve known for over 40 years that lives here in Maryland. She’s the friend that walks alongside. Not only is she my voice of reason, she is the reason that I moved here and she’s the reason that I’m still sane. So naturally for every big event in my life, I need to have these two people, in particular, around. My third friend, that’s not mentioned here in this story but is equally important, is Carol, the one who I reach back for and bring along after I’ve cleared the way. She’s my childhood friend, someone I always looked out for. These three are truly my treasures in life. I’m thankful everyday for them. Anyway, back to the story……The day came that we would leave for the graduation. We packed up the van and headed south. It was important that we pack light because we needed to get Yamil’s things in the van to bring back. We mapped out our journey which included spending the night in Charlotte, NC and then on the SC to see my aunt Net. We were on a strict time schedule because we needed to get to Atlanta in time to pick Nayda up from the airport. She had a track meet that Saturday and was unable to travel with us. I got one the track moms to agree to get her to the airport for me and I would be in Atlanta to pick her up. When we arrived at my aunt’s house in Greenville, S.C., she had made the biggest banquet ever!!!! All kinds of food and multiple deserts!!! What a treat that was. We couldn’t stay as long as I wanted because we still had 4hrs before we would reach Atlanta. After that delicious meal, I was feeling so sleepy. We had our satellite radio going and began telling stories. We had a chance to talk about our hopes and dreams – about our families – the funny moments, the sad times. It was such a great time traveling with my buddies.  I did most of the driving and they kept me company. As it turned out, we reached Atlanta at the perfect time – I was able to pull right up and Nayda had just gotten outside.  We scooped her up and continued on down to Alabama. The goal was to get there before dark…….

Graduation day, mother’s day, was a glorious time. When my son walked across that stage as one of only a few Architecture students that was able to graduate on time, my heart was so happy. He was the first – setting the tone for his sisters. That day, Barbara, Roz, Nayda and I packed up that van with no room to spare, and off we went – back on the road again. Don’t think I would have made it without my girls – my friends – MY EVERYTHING!!!! That’s what friends are for.