Stuck in Darkness

\”Love me, love me, say you do

let me fly away with you\”

In my perfect world I would have been there to grab

On to his hand and pull him up.  In my perfect world

We would have been able to conquer all the demons

So we could live free.  

Why didn’t I want that world enough to fight for it then?

Instead I broke his heart and let him go.  I couldn’t fix

Me….. I couldn’t fix him.  Thought I knew everything.  

Found out I knew nothing……we managed – separately

Pushing some things aside,

holding on to some things we should have

let go of a long time ago…..

Doing that thing we call life, messing up, cleaning up, growing up

And finally facing up

Trying to get through the muck and mire.  Looking

For that clearing where life is gentlier, sweeter to the

Taste.  A well-spring of water bubbling up, spilling over

So cleansing, so refreshing

Stealing a few moments of reprieve – just enough to  

Satisfy that want for a little while

A pure place, a vulnerable place, a place to see and

To be seen

A place of safety and protection where nothing needs to

Be hidden.  

“You’re spring to me, all things to me, don’t you know

You’re life itself”

Today I keep looking for him amongst the crowds of people

I keep searching for those eyes,

Wanting desperately to find that moment when all is well

I keep striving to make sense of this time, this place……

These circumstances of “ridiculousness”.

I keep clinging to that hope,

He keeps holding on to that crazy dream of his

Which keeps him alive

He keeps seeing his glass half full and I keep seeing

It half empty.

We manage to meet somewhere in the middle teetering

On the edge of insanity  

Help me to keep trying.  Help me to keep praying,

Help me to keep believing in the things that cannot

Be seen.  In the power and energy that supplies all

Our needs.  

Help me not to give up

“Like a leaf clings to a tree, oh my darling cling to me”

My soul betraying me today, I wallow in despair

Can’t seem to shake this gloom that encompasses

My being – intertwining with my spirit I can’t seem

To separate from it. I can\’t seem to let it go.

My world is diminished today, my spirits low, my body aching

My world is hazy, my vision cloudy, I need to sleep, need to clear

My mind of all this negativity. And today I color my

World dark.