Some Multiple of 10

How do you know you’re getting old? They say age is just a number and, on some level, that might very well be true. I started contemplating when exactly I knew I was on the downside of youth. In my mind, I always felt I was young – in fact there are even days now that I still feel young, although those days don’t come as often as they used to. My thoughts are young, my dress is young, and then suddenly it happened. Now when I look back, it was probably somewhere around age 55 (the speed limit here in Maryland. That should have told me something right there). Suddenly my body started talking to me early in the mornings. No longer did I require 9 plus hours of sleep. I would awaken at around 3 or so looking for the sun only to find out that I’d only been sleeping a couple of hours, not to mention the fact that I had to go to the bathroom. How ridiculous is that!!! It started as a soft nudge, and maybe my back would be aching but not too badly. Then it became that some mornings I’d wake up and start to stretch and all of a sudden, I’d get the most ridiculous cramp in my leg forcing me to jump straight up and start grabbing my leg trying to massage it out. Then it became a daily thing, I’d wake up with some new pain in some body part I never paid attention to before. What’s with this body wanting so much attention early in the morning.

I started noticing how it was taking me a little longer to get ready for work. I’ve always been one to go out every day. Even go out multiple times during any given day. Now, there have been days that I don’t step out of the house (especially if it’s winter). I seem perfectly content to sit at the computer playing scrabble or listening to music or perhaps trying to perfect some song on my piano. I relish my afternoon naps which can be anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. Mostly it’s 20 minutes just enough for me to be rejuvenated. Before I know it, it’s time for dinner. Speaking of dinner, how about I just can’t eat anything I want. My favorite dessert used to be cheesecake and now just the mere sight of cheesecake sends me running to the bathroom in excruciating pain!!! I never knew what lactose intolerance was. And then there are those extra 5 pounds, 10 pounds, 10+ pounds where did they come from? I put on my clothes, take a look in the mirror (or should I say grab my glasses because Lord knows the eyesight is the first thing to go), and there are bulges!!! How in the world did they get there? I find myself resorting to “bigger style” clothes – nothing clinging!

I guess what I’m saying is that you know you’re getting old when:

• you can’t just jump out of bed; you have to sit on the side and take inventory of all your parts and see if they’re still working
• you have to anticipate a new ache or pain daily
• you can’t stand loud music
• you get unexplained cramps in body parts you never knew you had
• you take twice as long to get ready to go out or your desire to go out has diminished greatly
• that “obituary file” you keep is now bursting at the seams
• you run out of the store upon hearing some child screaming to the top of their lungs without any intention of the parent to try and quiet them down
• you go to the kitchen and can’t remember what you went there for
• you get all dressed up, hair, makeup, the works, and nobody pays any attention to you
• You can no longer wear all those cute heels you have in your closet in fact your favorite shoes are those really cushioned sneakers (trust me, I have several pairs of them)
• you call your grandkids every one of your kid’s names only to become exasperated when they give you that quizzical look

I tell you, it’s tough getting old!!!

I actually went out and brought the cutest outfit ever for my upcoming birthday and I will probably wind up not even going out. I see myself sitting on my deck reading a book (what a novelty these days), sipping on a cup of coffee which I might even put a little amaretto in it just to celebrate. But at least I can take a million selfies and try to convince myself that the image staring back at me isn’t really 7 decades old. Whatever I decide, I’ll be fighting to see myself as that slender, sexy, stylish, sensational, seductively sultry seventy-year-old that loves life and keeps fighting every day to be relevant and happy, never taking any day for granted. So, bring on October!!! What a blessing it is that after all these years, I’m still in it!!!