Shifting Tides

I don’t know what’s happening to me, but let me just say – I don’t like it!  There’s some sort of shifting taking place and it’s not just my teeth which used to sit perfectly straight in their designated spot. Now I look in the mirror and I see, or what I think I see because actually I can’t trust my eyesight anymore, is an actual gap between my two front teeth.  

Things are changing, shifting – even my attitude. It seems I’ve become more agitated, much harder to get along with (who would have thought?) It’s bad enough that my body is betraying me. You remember how I relish going to the lake at least 3-4 times a week  to run approximately 2 miles – well it seems that not only did I have a thigh injury some months back, preventing me from running, but now I have a tear in my knee preventing me from even walking those two miles.  I’m hoping that it’s temporary because my eating habits haven’t changed and therefore the pounds seem to cling nice and tight to my body.  When I think of things clinging to me – it’s definitely NOT pounds I want. Not to be defeated, I decided OK, so instead of running or walking maybe I’ll do some chair exercises.  These days there is an extra added push for those who cannot run or walk to try chair exercises.  Wouldn’t you know that on my third day of exercising (in the chair no less), I pulled a groin muscle and now, in addition to my knee hurting, my leg almost gives way from time to time from the pain that shoots down my body – all on the left side!!! (there’s that sifting thing again).  It’s like the left side of my body has decided to take an extended vacation, refusing to cooperate with the right side of me. IT’S A CONSPIRACY!!!!!! 

I don’t want to be paranoid and I’m really not known to be a conspiracy theorist, but it seems that this all started when Donald Trump got elected.  “My country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty of thee I sing”. The country is being run by a 5 year old who has tantrums and is a bully and wants to make all the rules and exclude everything and everyone he doesn’t like. Not only that, he has surrounded himself with spineless “yes” people to the point where  I can’t even recognize my country anymore. People have become much more mean and hateful.  Frankly speaking, maybe they were always mean and hateful but only needed a license to actually express it. Well I don’t give up that easily because one thing hasn’t shifted a bit – that’s my determination. I’m still as stubborn as I have always been.  I am definitely my father’s child – an oppositional learner. Who ever would believe that I would in my lifetime experience the reversal of progress – banning books, erasing everything that even suggests that there are more diverse people,  ideas and cultures in this place I was taught as a child to be “the melting pot”, a beacon of light, a place of refuge (give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free). A place where a myriad of ideas and solutions were welcomed and debate was intellectually stimulating. A place where people could protest and not be persecuted for not all thinking the same.  

I tell you, there is indeed a shifting taking place in this country. The scales are unbalanced, much like this body of mine. I believe it’s going to take more than just “willing it so” to put things back in its proper balance. Maybe I/we need a shifting of ideas. I wake up these days and before I actually get up I take inventory of all body parts and adjust my mind accordingly.  I push to prepare for the day; do my exercises, stretching a bit more lately… coming up with a plan to get back on track. I never fail to start my day with gratitude and a focus on all the things that are right for THIS day. Adjusting my attitude and clothing myself in prayer and good wishes, I set out each day to do something positive, something nice, something even extraordinary for someone else because if we all look out for someone else, someone will indeed look out for us. And although it is really hard some days, I still believe in sowing and reaping, and I still believe in love and peace, and I still believe that good can overcome evil. I still believe that in the end, the good guys win.  I can’t let my spirit succumb to all this crazy negativity which threatens to envelope me and overtake my being. It’s hard work but someday my body will heal, and I’ll be able to walk again with purpose and maybe even run. If not, I’ll keep crawling and clawing my way.  The enemy will NOT win. So, when things start shifting again and the scales come back into balance and old things have passed away and all things become new, we’ll be able to forget the former things and press on toward the mark of the higher calling – I will not be defeated…. WE WILL NOT BE DEFEATED, never give up!