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Shadows

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Remaining in the shadows I peek out

Just to take a glance

Not that he’ll ever know……

Not that I’ll ever admit that somewhere

Deep inside me there’s a little of him

Who lately gets in the way……

Invading my dreams I keep wishing

And hoping for something that I will

Never have – something that is not for me.

I want to touch him one more time

I need that chance to, without words,

communicate what my heart doesn’t

Want to admit to……like a vapor, he’s gone

And maybe he never was here

I swear I conjured him up to meet

A need that I needed then, now, tomorrow……

It seems my heart never gives up

Tender, open, my mind closed

To rationale – to practicality

I should have been more careful, I should

Have known better than to venture out.

Maybe I didn’t realize just how selfish he was

Or maybe it’s because he is unattainable

That I continue to want him……silly me!

He played his cards just right …….the

Jokes on me. He trumped me –  game over.

I never saw it coming.

Today I can’t seem to get my mind together

Can’t seem to push back on all that memory

Stuff

It seems I’m tripping myself up – facing

The wrong direction – refusing to move toward

The sun where life is simple and good

Where there are no complications – a place

Where I’m one with nature

Receiving the oxygen I need

To breathe deeply and freely once again.

Leaving behind the muck and mire of things

I don’t understand – of confusion and doubt

And yet I’m alive and because of life I have

Hope.  I need only to hold on just a little longer

I need only to take that giant step out of

The shadow and into a space where the air

Is clean and fresh welcoming a new day.

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