Rebelliousness

I’ve have often been asked which one of my children out of the three, was the most challenging to raise. In other words, of the three, which would win the “Most rebellious award”? Usually when asked to guess, most people say Yamil.  That\’s probably because he’s the oldest and the only boy. Well all those people are wrong. Hands down this award goes to Maya! Yes, Maya, so cute, so sweet, often referred to as angelic. And yes, I would agree, that she’s all of that. However, there is another side to Maya that most people don’t know about. There is that part of her that leaves her brother and sister and me shaking our heads and looking at each other in amazement. Very early on I knew I was in for it when we all noticed that Maya never wanted to follow the rules.  The rules were good – but just not for her. She wanted her way AT ALL COSTS. One afternoon when she was about 18 months old, I told her to go and get in her bed because it was time for a nap. She wasn’t even speaking well at that point but she immediately started babbling (with attitude. I could be wrong but I think I saw her place her little hands on her hips) at me and refused to leave the room. Right at that point, I got up and went to her and hit her directly in her mouth and said, don’t ever talk back to me. Of course she was devastated. One thing for sure, she never talked back again. She was my clingy child so inevitably she would be hanging on to me for dear life whenever we were outside the house. I was indeed her “prized possession”. I think that’s why she and her brother would fight all the time because she insisted that she had to walk on my right side (as opposed to the left). She had to sit in the front seat of the car. She just wanted what she wanted when she wanted it. Bed time was always a challenge. There were times (just about every night for what seemed like forever) that she would scream and cry to the top of her lungs because she didn’t want to go to bed. (Talk about child abuse – how about parental abuse!!!!).  The more I ignored her, the louder she became. I guess it doesn’t help that she is the middle child. She’s always felt that she somehow got slighted in the scheme of things. Of all the children, I definitely needed her to come with a manual. She’s the one that announced, very defiantly, that she “never wanted to grow up”!!! She was that child who would win over everybody’s heart with her impeccable manners and sweet smile. You could always count on her to help out in every situation. When I went to the parent/teacher conference when she was in second grade her teacher said to me “I know this can’t be true, but Maya is perfect!!!! I hope someday when my wife and I have children that they are like Maya”. WOW!!! I was taken aback. Were they talking about MY Maya? Yes, she was super smart. The Lord blessed her with a great aptitude for school work. Her ability to grasp things very quickly was/is truly remarkable. I thought to myself, maybe I’m judging her too harshly but right after that thought, I remembered a time when she was 3-½ when we had to come to a major understanding about things.

We were living in Dayton, Ohio at that time. I decided to put her in Kindercare for a few hours during the day so that she could get used to being away from me and she could interact with other children her age. She seemed to like it there and everyday when I picked her up I would get good reports from her teacher.  Well one day when I went to pick her up I noticed that she was in the corner. One of the administrators came rushing over to me and said, I really hate to tell you this, but Maya is in the corner because she was kicking the teacher. – WHAT???????  My child kicking the teacher? The administrator started quickly trying to smooth things over as she could visibly see that I was over the top upset. I quickly collected my child. I couldn’t wait to get to the car. As it turned out, she couldn’t have her way and so she decided that fighting the teacher was the appropriate action to take…….MISTAKE!!!!.  After I went through “what were you thinking?”…..”Let me understand”…. “Maybe I’m the one that’s wrong” she was of course crying all the way home knowing that not only she would probably get a \”spanking\” but also would be punished by her father. I told her VERY LOUDLY “ Maya, I pay those people to tell you what to do” and not doing what they tell you to do  is NOT AN OPTION!”.  The disciplinary action taken evidently worked because from that point on when I arrived at Kindercare to pick her up, she was sitting very angelically, waiting for me. I wish I could report that from that point on she was always very compliant in all situations but of course you know that’s not true. It’s just that she decided that she would save all that rebelliousness strictly for me. Strong willed children will always remain that way – a contest of wills. You just have to make sure that you always win. It definitely takes persistence and the ability to steer them in the right direction, provide guidelines and parameters by which they can express themselves along with much prayer. The moral of the story is: “A healthy dose of respect for authority goes a long way”.

P.S. Maya went on to receive the top award in high school “The Pastor\’s Award*”

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*This award was awarded each year to a student that was chosen by the facility and staff for outstanding Christian character, spiritual leadership, academic excellence and exemplary social relationships.

Maya at 5 years old