I wonder if in his silence he keeps me close?
Does he want to reach out to connect with me?
All this sadness is killing my spirit.
I want to smile again, I need that sunshine – that
warmth that he provides
I feel him guarding himself….I want to know
What he’s thinking….I want to know what
his heart feels….I want to know if in his
Quiet time, when the world is still, he
Thinks of me and if he does, what does he think about?
Have I permeated his world? Is there a
Corner he reserves for me? I don’t have to
Meet him there, but I just need to know that I
Have made an impression as I shared my most
Intimate feelings of how I move and breathe
And exist in this space – a world of aloneness
Mostly…..
I’m adjusting to his silence. Is this his way
Of saying good-bye? His way of saying
I’ve served his purpose and now it’s time to move on?
I can go
Without fanfare, without regret…just quiet tears and
So much sadness…but go I will if that’s what he
Wants. In my solitude I become free…
I learn to breathe a new way.
My sweet love has turned into my fantasy
Lover where I can conjure him up at any point
And pretend that he wants me as I want him. He joins
my world where we play and laugh and steal a few precious
Moments. With him, visions of me – fading fast.
With me, visions of him forever vibrant, forever alive in me
A kaleidoscope of colors blending, spreading throughout
Keeping me open and wanting and needing that
Sweetness he so graciously gave.
Come to me if you will. Push me away if you want.
Either way, I got this….It’s all good!!
