Reality Check

Sometimes I think that most of us walk around oblivious to what’s really happening around us, to us, for us, and through us. Somehow, we have a somewhat skewed vision of reality. There are days when I can sit and people watch (I get that legitimately from “my guy”). I find myself often thinking, “what was she thinking when she looked in the mirror this morning?” “How could she even think about putting that on even in the house, not to mention coming outside like that? Usually, it’s somebody looking like they have on a toddler size dress when clearly they should be wearing a size 20+, please, cover that up!!!! Or what about the windshield wiper eye lashes? Is that considered attractive these days? And it’s not even just the women. How about the “old heads” walking around with skinny jeans, and Lord knows there is nothing skinny about them. Much too often I encounter young guys constantly pulling up their pants or walking wide-legged so their pants won’t fall down. For Pete’s sake, PUT ON A BELT! Mostly they don’t even have nice underwear on – ugh!!! Maybe I’ve got it all wrong. Yes, I was once young, although that was some time ago, I try to remember the styles and trends that shocked and awed my parents and their counterparts, causing so much angst about us “young people”. The 70s brought about big Afros, no bras, miniskirts and hot pants, bell bottoms and hip huggers, and for the guys, platform shoes and polyester suits. Most of those styles didn’t fit me as a 105lb, skinny leg girl with no hips to hug anything. I was pretty much out of step with all that. I guess every generation has its challenges.

My aunt often reminds me of how I desperately wanted to grow up. I couldn’t wait until I was 16.  I don’t know why that was supposed to be such a magical time. 16 came and went with little or no fanfare and then suddenly the years started speeding up and I was off and running trying to keep up or catch up. My entire 20’s is a blur. I remember snippets of my 30s and 40s and then it started; I turned 48 and when checking the mail one day, I was modified to see an AARP card had arrived with my full government name printed on it!!! I hadn’t even turned 50 yet.  It was as if someone was sitting in some highfalutin office somewhere just waiting to push the “send” button. Suddenly I was turning 50!!! A half century had come and gone. I always prided myself on keeping up with the times, adjusting to the new styles of clothes and hairstyles.  When my eyesight started failing (somewhere in my early 40s), I even managed to muster up enough courage to get contact lenses – no reason to look older than I was. And when the first of my children decided to get married, I pushed back on the whole concept of grandmothership (is that even a word?). I had to do some major mental adjustments when my first grandchild arrived. I wouldn’t dare let her call me grandma. Even now, when someone calls me grandma or refers to me by that title, literally I have a negative physical response. It’s as though someone is cursing at me. For years, even though I am considered a senior citizen, I would reject any discounts that are given to seniors.  That was for other people – not me. I can’t decide if that was “pride” or if I was in complete denial!!!! I was still running every day and even though I was fighting weight gain, I was still pretty fit.  Then it happened, 60 came roaring in, with company, no less. Along came back problems and knee problems and body cramps and then I understood why people retire.  It’s because taking care of yourself becomes a FULL-TIME job. Doctor’s appointments, dentist appointments, physical therapy for this ailment or that body part.  Thank God I don’t have to take a lot of medications, but just keeping up with supplements can be challenging. Even with all of that, I’m still managing. I’ve finally adjusted to my new 10th face (a new face every 7 years according to my former pastor), and I’m pushing towards my 73rd birthday and I’m still working (only part-time), but it seems that I’m slowing down quite a bit. When I know I’m going on a trip I have to prepare my body for extra walking; I don’t think I ever thought about just how much walking is involved in flying – from checking in to finding your gate and then once you land, walking to baggage claim. And what about sitting in those cramped seats (still can’t afford to fly first class). Then I have to consider the extreme weather – hot or cold.  Which brings me to this summer when I had a few trips planned.  Off to see the grandkids and then to a track meet in extreme heat 92+ degrees in Houston, Texas. I had been nursing a tear in my knee and had just about gotten it to a reasonable level. I even resumed exercising – no running, but walking and doing water aerobics. I was feeling quite proud of myself. 

Once in Houston I made arrangements to rent a car. My daughter, Nayda, and I had to take a shuttle from the airport to the car rental place. Everything was going along just fine. I had picked up a very cute but comfortable stylish outfit, sneakers to match, everything intact, I was feeling good and ready to go.  When the shuttle arrived, it was crowded.  Nayda and I got on in the front and people were also getting on in the back and placing their luggage on the racks that were provided.  I began looking for a seat but since there wasn’t one available, I thought, no problem, I could just stand up.  After all, it was a short ride.  Once everyone was on, the bus driver stood up to check that everything was in order. At that point he made someone get up who was sitting in one of the front seats and announced, with vibrato, “the front seats are for senior citizens!”.  I started looking around to see who he could possibly be talking about, and I noticed his eyes landed on me!  Before I could put up any resistance, Nayda said with annoyance, “Just sit down mommy!” WHAT??? I was totally SHOCKED AND APPALLED!!! I just knew he couldn’t be talking about me. How dare he refer to me as a “senior citizen”, I was downright insulted! Talk about a reality check, that was it for me – I very humbly took a seat. ☹

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“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18