Nothing New Under the Sun

Sometimes it’s good to look at just how far you’ve come. It gives you fuel for continuing the journey - this thing called life. Looking back can give you perspective. You realize that there were times you thought you wouldn’t survive, but somehow you did, and those times when you didn’t want to survive but something kept you hoping. There are days that seem like lifetimes and yet there are the times you want to put on replay. The key is not to stay in the past but to let it fuel you for the future you covet. I’m so thankful for the times, past and present. I’m so thankful for the people, some who only stopped by and some who stayed - still in all, they became/become a part of this tapestry of my life. 

I’m thankful for all the growing experiences. Everyday that God allows me to see is yet another chance to get it right, I’m still in it. Somedays I tread lightly and others I stomp my way through. It’s that dogged determination that won’t let me give up. And while I have my mental facilities, some days I relish remembering something special in my early maturation years. Growing up in the 50s, 60s and 70s was very challenging and often volatile. That period in history was very transformative. I would refer to the mid-60s through the 70s as the “civil rights era”. The civil rights era bled right into the “peace and love” 70s era. (at least that’s how I categorize it.  It seems we went from demonstrating against the Vietnam war, to warring against the injustices towards black people in this country, demanding equal rights. We were Dashiki-wearing, black power teenagers (if you were of color) or if not of color, hippies; flower children with tie-die clothing, burning bras (if you were not of color because people of color didn’t play that. At 12, my mother insisted on a “training bra”, for the life of me, I couldn’t and still can’t figure out what we were training for). Whichever category you fit in, we were all “anti-establishment”.  Sit-ins were the thing. The drugs of the day were marijuana, cocaine and LSD. Communal living was a big hit for some (definitely NOT for me; please give me my personal space!!). It was a lot!!!! The times were very confusing and extremely stressful. I look at pictures from Woodstock and I think - OH HELL NO!!!! What were they thinking? Surely COVID wasn’t around then - people sharing everything, and I mean everything - definitely not for me.  Death from overdoses were prevalent and generally, teenagers and young adults walked around “stoned” out of their minds. It’s a wonder that any of us survived. Truly it was not easy growing up in a big city like New York with access to everything imaginable. With a little bit of luck and lots of prayer, we managed to survive.  Police brutality towards people of color was a normal thing (in a lot of ways, much like today). You spent your days and nights trying to fly under the radar. Truly (as the Bible states in Ecclesiastes 1:9), there is nothing new under the sun.  From Slavery to “internment camps” for Japanese citizens, to now ICE agents disappearing people  - I ask has anything changed? Pause here……I just got an alert on the “ring” that ICE is at the local Giant supermarket.  Really?  It’s New Year’s eve and people can’t even go grocery shopping! Indeed, each generation has their issues to deal with. I’m reminded of an incident while I was in high school. I spent a lot of time being worried about my very existence.  I wrote the following poem “There are Things I’ll Never Forget” about one such occasion during my high school years.   

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There are things that I’ll never forget 
Like that day in the 1968 - 69 school year 
At FDR High School In Brooklyn, N.Y. 
When we were Running, sprinting past the graveyard 
Trying to escape the vitriol of the neighborhood 
Angry mobs threatening us 

All we wanted was an education, a level playing field 
A chance to dream, a chance to grow 
A chance to be a catalyst in the forming of 
That “More Perfect Union”
For that we endured the name calling and the 
Onslaught of objects being thrown at us. 
Running faster, trying to make it to the elevated train 
Leaving no one behind, we kept running 

There are things I’ll never forget…. Like squeezing 
My books so tight against my chest, 
Trying to slow my heart rate down, scared;  not wanting 
To get left behind, determined to arrive home safe, intact
Mamma taught us to be brave, to persevere, to endure 
I’m sure she prayed a lot, as I did that day for 
Protection, for courage
Convicted in her spirit, she was determined that 
Things would be better for me, and so, 

There are things that I’ll never forget like how 
We held up the train until all of us were aboard 
There must have been some advanced warning,
some alert because The train ran express all the 
Way from 20th Ave on the N train line to downtown 
Brooklyn (Jay Street and Borough Hall). The doors opened 
And we all fell out, happy we had survived. 
We dispersed, some to the F train, some to 
The G train, some, like me, to the A train where 
I felt safe, protected

There are things that I’ll never forget like 
The unity we felt
We were all together, all the black and brown people, 
We were all safe for that day, God answered my prayer
It was one day in the life of that 1968 - 1969 
School year.

*************

I guess these days I get flashbacks, reminding me of those scary times, always looking over my shoulder, always making sure I wasn’t in the wrong place at the right time.  As I watch the horror of what’s happening in our country these days I wonder when and how it will end.  Oftentimes I can’t believe the speech that comes out of the President’s mouth - his denigration of groups of people, the name calling, the spewing of pure hatred for others - I cringe. We were always taught to look up to the president, to revere not only the office, but the person as well. I’m truly embarrassed that we have THIS president. I always thought we, as a country, stood up for truth, compassion for those who were less fortunate - for a heart to lift people up surely not beat them down to the ground. Truly “the heart of man is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked” as the Bible teaches us. (Jeremiah 17:9). My heart breaks for all those who are physically abused by our government. How many moms and dads are being mistreated. How many lives are hanging in the balance, how many tears are being shed, how long will this last?  The violence starts at the top. When you have someone at the top that gives license to murder and destruction, it’s only a matter of time that you have pure anarchy. These times make me want to scream “STOP THE WORLD, I WANT TO GET OFF!”

I wake up each day not knowing what to expect next. Indeed my soul is anchored in the one who created and sustains life. I wake up not knowing what will be required of me THIS day; and yet, I still can’t give up. I look for that ray of sunshine in my day - something to hang on to, a smile, a gesture, a song of encouragement, a prayer of hope……

“Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for yours is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever, AMEN.” (Matthew 6:11-13)