No Pets For Me

Thor & Friends

Growing up in the projects in Brooklyn N.Y., we weren’t allowed to have pets. I recall being fascinated with pets when I was in elementary school.  A girl in my 4th grade class had, of all things, a pet monkey. I remember the day I met “Mr. Chimp”. On the walk home from school my classmate invited me up to her family’s small apartment so I could actually see him. It was amazing to me how they interacted with each other. He climbed on everything. It was worse than a toddler because he could leap so high in no time. I sat in one spot petrified as I watched him leap and hop from one thing to another, all the time praying he wouldn’t take a fancy to me and hop on me. My friend, seeing how apprehensive I was, gathered him up in her arms and held on to him as he squirmed and try to break free. She offered for me to hold him and I quickly, but very politely through clenched teeth, declined. I was perfectly happy to see him from afar. I still thought it kind of strange to have a monkey as a pet. I was just trying to figure out this “pet” thing.  My girlfriend Carol had a dog and I got used to seeing him every time I’d visit with her and her sister. Oftentimes upon my arrival she would be sitting in the hallway talking with the dog. Fortunately for me, he wasn’t opposed to me visiting. I decided to keep my distance from him as well. I don’t think I ever really wanted a pet. I’m a little leery about things that don’t talk (and that includes babies). The amazing part to me was how my friends cherished their pets. They seemed to have their own unique way of talking to each other. I did come to realize how easy people can get attached to their animals. As an adult I’ve learned to have (what I would call) a healthy respect for people/pet relationships; however, my idea of that relationship is a very rational one and what I’ve come to notice is that people can really go overboard with the whole “pet thing”.  Ultimately, I really don’t trust them because I can’t know what they are thinking.

There came a day after I’d become an adult and had two children that I had a girlfriend that had a love for dogs. She had a dog named “Thor”. Thor was a husky.  The day he came to live with her I thought he was soooo cute. I thought maybe I should rethink the whole pet thing. He was frisky and very friendly jumping about.  I did notice, however, that his paws were HUGE. This was surely a sign that he would grow into those feet (much like baby boys that usually come out with huge heads – you know it’s just a matter of time that they will grow into those “big heads” not to mention their egos that often times match those heads). Well during the course of time Thor and I became good friends. When I’d come to visit, I’d go to the back door and there we would have our bonding session.  Me on one side of the gate, and him on the other. He would actually try to talk to me. He would make these sounds just like he was telling a story. He would give me his paw and look for me to pet him. Sure,  no problem, I could do that as long as he stayed behind the gate we were “cool”.  Well my girlfriend announced one day that she had to go to a conference for her job and she needed to be gone for a couple of days. Since we were really good friends she asked me if I would take care of Thor while she was away. Just the thought of that sent me into a panic. Me, with a dog???? Understand that by this time Thor had grown into those feet and I’m sure weighed about 100 pounds. At the time I probably weighed about 110lbs (many moons ago). Of course I couldn’t say no. This was my friend and she needed help. Since she lived far from me (she lived in Queens and I lived in Brooklyn) I couldn’t just leave Thor at her house. We made arrangements to bring him to my house. I thought maybe it would be ok because I had a basement and a backyard. I figured that during the day while I was at work I could put him in the basement and then when I came home I could put him in the backyard. Since I was only working part-time, my thought was that he would only have to be locked up for a short part of the day. I still wasn’t feeling entirely comfortable about the whole ordeal. My girlfriend assured me that everything would be fine. Standing in the doorway with baby #1 by my side and baby #2 in my arms, I watched her drive away thinking “What have I gotten myself into?” Of course I could hear Thor barking and barking wanting to come up out of the basement. I decided that the next morning would be soon enough. I thought by then I would muster up the courage to let him out. The next morning I let him out in the back and then somehow got him back in the basement before leaving for work.

The whole time I was at work I thought about Thor. I was anxious to get back to make sure he was alright. That was the next part of it, how would I explain it if something happened to him. The children and I arrived home and before I could put the key in the door, I could hear Thor barking like crazy!!! This wasn’t just a regular bark, this was a “LET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE” bark. I immediately went to the basement door and started talking to him, just trying to calm him down. What was I thinking….this was a DOG, not a person!!!! He wouldn’t let me open the door he kept barking and pushing against the door. I had his leash right by the door with the intent that I’d put his leash on and immediately let him out. Fear overtook me and I couldn’t bring myself to open the door. Of course, the children were looking at me like “OK, what now?” After I got the children safely upstairs, I opened the door just a little to be greeted by Thor jumping up and down. I struggled to get the leash on and out the door we went. After he calmed down a bit I decided that the children and I would take him for a walk. Of course I winded up being pulled down the street and it took all my strength to get him back in the yard. I figured I’d set up his food before letting him back in. I bounded down the stairs to the basement and I thought I was in the wrong house. Thor had completely destroyed the couch I had downstairs with the insides strewn everywhere.  Just think – that could have been ME!!!! The basement was barely recognizable. That night, I hardly got any sleep wondering what else he would destroy. When my girlfriend arrived the next day I wanted to run, jump in her arms and break out in tears of joy!!!!! I lost so many things in those two days – my couch, my sanity and probably a couple of pounds but thank God, Thor was still alive and well when she returned. That experience cured me from ever wanting a pet. I guess I decided right then and there that I’d just stick to two-legged creatures that I could actually talk to, not in code, but in a mutually understandable language. My initial instincts were indeed correct – NO PETS FOR ME!!!