My Village

“No man is an island; no man stands alone……….we need one another”……Peter Schickele

As a single parent one of the scariest things is not being able to take care of your children. That’s specifically why we all need a village of people who can step in and help in times of need.  I’ve been very fortunate to have just the right people at just the right times down through the years.  I came across this quote by Hank Stram that spoke volumes to me… “Someone said that friends are angels in disguise. If this is true, I have been surrounded by angels for most of my life”.

I worked extremely hard at staying healthy and keeping the children healthy as well. Generally speaking I’m a pretty healthy person, and consequently, so were my children. I managed to get through childhood with just the general illnesses like chickenpox and mumps (boy did I hate the mumps!). I remember getting colds very infrequently so they must have been of no consequence. What I do remember in high school was coming down with what was later found out to be the flu.  Each day I’d get up, dressed, and ready for that long trek to the high school that I was fortunate enough to be “bussed” to. Actually, high school was both the best of times and the worst of times for me. I think a lot of it was “the times” – late sixties. The whole country was in turmoil.  This one day I arrived at school after at least an hour ride on the NYC subways and I wasn’t feeling well. Although it was winter I was sweating and feeling faint. I winded up going to the nurse’s office seeking some relief. She suggested that I go home and as unusual as it was, she sent my best friend with me. That started my long road to convalescence.  Little did I know that it would be almost two weeks before I actually would get better. My father had taken me to the doctor and he prescribed the normal “drink plenty of fluids” “take aspirin”  and pretty much, wait it out. I do remember him giving me some type of pills but I wasn’t able to keep them down. The moment I swallowed them, up they came almost immediately. I lay in the bed for at least three days not being able to eat or drink anything. My mother had given me all the usual things – ginger ale, juice, alcohol rubs to break the fever, “Vicks” vapor rub…..she even tried castor oil. She put the castor oil in some orange juice. To this day, I don’t like orange juice for that reason. I can even now visualize the oil sitting on the top of the juice no matter how much you stirred it. Needless to say that didn’t stay down either. By the 4th day I was so weak I could barely get back and forth to the bathroom. I could hear my parents arguing about who would take me back to the doctor. At that point I didn’t even care about going back. I remember just wanting to die. I was so weak and I still had a fever that just wouldn’t break. Finally my mother decided she would try one more thing and if that didn’t work she would take me to the hospital. I don’t know about everybody else’s parents – but people from that generation believed that enemas cured just about everything!!!!!. So out came the hot water bottle which she proceeded to fill with a combination of soap and warm water. I’ll spare you the details, if you’re not familiar with them, you can google it (as my children often tell me).  I had remembered getting an enema once before that time and I HATED IT!!!!!! At this point I was too weak to resist. Well I have you to know that right after that enema I was a changed person!!!  My fever broke almost immediately and I was able to keep the medicine down and much needed fluids. I remember dreaming about food – a triple decker sandwich with all my favorite cold cuts. That let me know that I was indeed on the road to recovery. In about another week I was finally back to normal.

Well it was one fall afternoon I was home with my three children and my girlfriend’s two children when I suddenly had that same feeling that I was ill. For some reason the children were out of school and I managed to take off from work to stay with them. I knew something was seriously wrong when I couldn’t even drink my coffee that morning. Whatever I had on my stomach was hell bent on coming out – BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!!! This went on for about a good hour. I could hear the children running around playing. Finally Yamil came in to check on me (I guess because I hadn’t come out to check on them). It’s always good to have at least one child who checks on you. Not only that, he’s my resourceful child. By this time I was so delirious that I couldn’t think of how I could find the doctor’s phone number. Yamil was about 7 at the time. I told him I was sick and couldn’t get the doctor’s phone number.  I instructed him to call my job (I worked at an MRI facility not too far from the house). I also knew that he knew the phone number to the job. Yamil was able to get my coworker to call the doctor’s office for me. Within a few minutes, I got a phone call from the doctor himself. After a few minutes of him trying to access how bad the situation was, he told me that if I wasn’t better within the next hour to go to the hospital.  The next task was to get someone to help me with the children. It doesn’t really matter how sick you are, as a parent you still  have to function. Thank God I have a son that’s very resourceful and usually can figure out a solution to just about any problem. He immediately went into problem-solving mode. He had one of my girlfriend’s children call my girlfriend at work. She immediately called her husband who was able to get off of work and come get ALL of the children. The next task was to get myself better to the point where I could get the children. I had a girlfriend who worked not far from where I lived. We had recently reconnected after not being in touch for some years. We actually met in Philadelphia and as fate would have it, not only did we wind up in Maryland at the same time, but she worked directly across the street from me. I called her and she was able to come and bring soup and medicine. After 41 years, we are still in contact with each other to this day. What a blessing she has been to me over the years. Indeed the Lord must have heard my cry because later on that evening, I was so much better. I was able to get the children and was back to my regular routine in no time. It seems that I’ve always had those core group of friends who came to my aid just when I needed some help. My village consisted of some very dear old friends and some very precious new ones as well. Once again I’m reminded of the Lord’s faithfulness.

Isaiah 43:4 “Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honorable, and I have loved thee; therefore will I give men for thee and people for thy life.”