Money, Money, Money, Money

My parents always told me that money wasn’t everything. (I think they told me that because we didn’t have a lot of it). They emphasized that having money wouldn’t necessarily bring happiness – so I set out to pursue happiness – not  money. This “money principle” was one which I had many occasions to question at a young age. One of the chores my sister and I had growing up  was to do the grocery shopping.  One week I would go and the next week would be her turn.  It was during one of those shopping trips I thought maybe my parents were wrong about that money thing because each time it was my turn to do the shopping I noticed that most people who had money didn’t have to worry about whether they had enough to pay for their groceries. I would take the meager grocery list, along with the money that mamma provided, grab the shopping cart and off I’d go. Each time I reached the cashier I would immediately start sweating, holding my breath thinking “will I have enough?” or would I be so embarrassed and have to put something back.  What would I choose to put back? Nothing on the list was “fun stuff” – no candy, or soda or even chips.  For that reason, I always hated going to the grocery store. I didn’t mind walking the approximately five blocks or pulling the shopping cart. I just had to make sure that I had the list and the money and make sure I returned with the receipt and change (if any). Money was the thing that always hung me up. I always felt a sense of relief after leaving the store with all the items on the list. I just know that I spent a great deal of my childhood worrying about not having enough money for something. I didn’t know whether to wish for more or not. I was never really sure whether it was OK for me to pray for more money since my parents always said money wasn’t everything.  Two incidents in my young life caused me to reevaluate that “money thing”.   Upon getting off the train one day from school; I reached Eastern Parkway where there were benches along the walkway.  I came across a man sitting on the bench.  He apparently was drunk as he was slouched over the bench – feeling no pain.  When I looked down I saw some money lying on the ground (I believe it was a $20 bill).  $20 dollars was a great deal of money to me. I was probably around 12. I picked up the money, woke the man up and gave him the $20.  I felt so proud of myself. I was always admonished by my godmother to always try to do a good deed everyday. It was getting late in the day and I hadn’t yet fulfilled that task. I was so excited about giving this man the money, which I assumed was his.  I figured that he just dropped it being that he was clearly drunk.  As soon as I got home, I proudly told my mother what happened. To my disappointment she began to scold me.  I was totally confused.  She said “how do you know it was his?” She told me I should have kept the money.  I was so disappointed. I went from total jubilation to total despair. I felt very confused.  Some time later (a few months maybe), I was in the candy store and going out, I saw a $10 bill on the floor.  I quickly picked it up and this time I proceeded to put it in my pocket.  Immediately some man started fussing at me saying that that was his money and that I should give it back.  I didn’t know what to do – this money thing had gotten me all twisted up! Keep the money or give it up.  I hadn’t actually seen the man drop the money and there were other people in the store.  I just ran out of the store. It was so evident to me that money was a problem!!! I grew up to see just how money was much too significant in people’s lives. Too much, or too little, there’s always something to fight about. Those that have too much are always worrying about people taking advantage of them.  I’ve known families to be split apart over inherited money. Those who have too little are always consumed with how to get more – either way, they don’t sleep at night. As for me, as I look back, I have to admit I did feel better when I gave the drunk man the money I found near him – so I decided that little or much, I would always err on giving rather than taking.  So that’s been my mantra all of my life – “It’s better to give than to receive”. And you know what? That biblical principle not only applies to money – but to every aspect of life.  It’s been working out for me so far and after decades (at least 7+ so far), I’ve never gone hungry. The Lord has always provided for me and my children both physically and in every aspect of life.  Every now and then I even get a little bonus – something totally unexpected and I’m so appreciative. I still try to do a good deed everyday and when I’m undecided as to whether to give or not, if that thought crosses my mind, I always err on the side of giving; and you know what? I sleep peacefully every night!!! 

_____________

Disclaimer:  Please don’t misunderstand me, this narrative is just a very simplistic way of looking at money as seen by my 12-year-old self.  Ultimately, I think it’s important to have a realistic and balanced relationship with money and realize that it is never more important than people.