Photo by Jeannette
You think if I wish long and hard enough that
I could just skip over that day on the calendar
That day of gloom in August that severed
my heart.
The day my mama left me. How lost I felt
Getting the news from my sister……”mommy’s gone!”
Somewhere else the sun was shining, not there,
Not for me.
I fought the tears that were just quivering on the
Brink of my eyelids.
I just wanted another chance to gather memories…
memories I need now,
On days like today when my heart aches
Days when the clouds seem to envelop me
and remembering saps my energy
I keep going over and over in my mind those days
Those hot dog days of summer – Just give me
October when the air is crisp and the days
Are shorter, I need to change this up
Not ready for her to go I wanted to scream
Hang in there mommy, October is coming
We can celebrate together. Let’s just get pass this
Bump in the road
But that day came much too quickly, that
Dark day in August when it seemed my heart
Stopped beating for a few minutes just trying
to adjust to the hollowness I felt inside.
No words would form
I walked through the corridors of Brooklyn Hospital
For what would be the last time
Taking in the sights and sounds of life – of death
Letting the deepest darkest gloom slowly overtake
My senses.
The days lingered on just like the heat of August
Sometimes I could hardly breathe.
There was no relief in sight. October seemed
Lifetimes away
There was no escaping the heaviness my heart
Felt as I dragged on day after day
Yet something inside me kept pushing, pushing me
Through the routine of the minutes, of the
hours, the day, the days, the months and suddenly
My heart sang – I made it through to October
Time to celebrate all that was, all that is.
And now, the years flash before me
It’s August once again and suddenly it hits me
She’s really gone
How did I get through without her steadiness
In my life?
And after all these years,
I’m still missing my mommy.
6 Responses
Early this morning, I had wept because I was missing my mom. How timely your post! Thanks for sharing. We are blessed!
Oh my those were the most touching sweetest poems I’ve read.
Just give me October has the tears burning my eyes. Please don’t stop writing. Gives me a chance to stop and realize just how grateful I’am. Miss you Much
I felt this heated slow motion moving of time through the seasons also for a like or similar year before the full realization struck me too- she’s gone, she IS gone…only I wept from February to February waiting on the spring
You did well my friend, you did well. For yourself, yourchildren and your friends (like me). Ms Curry is always alive in your heart Your mom is a part of my past that I carry with me. Sometimes I think about the “egg episode” with Pernell. I can see her face and I laugh out loud.
This was one of the top 5. This touched my heart and I couldn’t read it with stopping to wipe my eyes. Thank you for sharing, And like the other comment, please don’t stop writing. I so look forward to reading them. Miss u
You are steadfast like your mom. This poem is so beautiful.