Honoring Women

If you’re being honest, you realize that women, not men, make the world go round. We are the ones who bear the brunt of all aspects of society – from child rearing, to ruling with clear, level heads, not to mention our ability to multitask; no doubt our value is undeniable!!!! Not only that, we tend to bring a certain amount of creativity to the mix when it comes to solving problems as they arise.  In my experience, however limited, men tend to pontificate endlessly about this and that and meanwhile, nothing gets done. My motto is “If you want results – ask a woman!!” Please don’t misunderstand me, I do appreciate and admire the contributions of men,  but I’d like to, just for a moment, celebrate and concentrate on women!!! I’ve got two stories that demonstrate the resourcefulness of women in difficult situations.  

The first story is my own personal story.  While living in Philadelphia, newly married, my husband and I lived in an apartment complex. Since he was a full-time medical student, I was left to financially (as well as otherwise) take care of us. Using my typing skills, incidentally I taught myself, I managed to get a job at a nationally acclaimed accounting firm. I became a statistical typist. I must tell you this was before present day computers. I started out on a regular typewriter which required a lot of counting for margins and centering. Mistakes were handled by either “white out” and then you had to line up the page just perfectly to insert the correct information.  There was a lot of “cutting and pasting” going on in longer documents. The accounting firm I worked for was very strict and we were only allowed a certain amount of mistakes per page. There was an entire department set up for “Callers and Footers”. One person would read the document to the other person who would check for errors.  At the bottom of each page were boxes (one for verbiage errors and one for statistical errors). These sheets were collected and kept and would determine if you would get a raise or be on probation or in some cases, be fired. I managed to advance to one of the top stat typists in the firm. Not only that when I moved from Philadelphia to New Orleans I was able to transfer to the same company and likewise when I moved to Rochester, NY again I was able to transfer to the same company. I worked very long hours (most days 10 hours and on occasion 12 hours per day) working as much overtime as possible just to be able to pay the rent. I had a neighbor who was a single parent with two boys. She too, was struggling just to make ends meet. I would help her with her children whenever I could. As I recall, one month when the rent was due, she was short the amount that was due. I remember being a teenager and going to “rent parties” or “waistline parties” where people would charge you your waist size to get in.  You would be surprised how much money you can raise. Of course I didn’t have any extra money but after trying to figure out a way that both of us could pay our rent, I came up with a plan. I had one store credit card at the time. I decided that I would purchase a gift card, then buy something very small and they would instead of issuing a store credit, would give me cash back and I could use that money for her to pay her rent. You have to realize that this was the late seventies so things were a lot different in terms of returns and the like, when it came to gift cards. I also had been saving up all my pennies and I took those to the bank and got cash for them. By the end of the week, between the gift card and the pennies, we had enough money for both of us, not only to pay our rent but to get a few groceries as well!!!!  How’s that for creativity? We always seemed to manage.  

This next story is about a transformative arrangement. Let me title it, “more than meets the eye”. Sometimes you have to have a vision of what could be in order to push to make that vision become reality. Although I don’t know these women personally, they are friends of a friend. Sisterhood encompasses lots of different kinds of women from different places; this story is about two women from Sierra Leone, Africa. Let’s call them Peggy and Margaret. They met at an outreach program in DC. Both ladies were giving their time to helping others; they volunteered at a soup kitchen whose mission was to feed the homeless. They formed a friendship, partly out of necessity and partly just because they shared common experiences both here and in their native country.  Peggy had left her three children behind in Sierra Leone, hoping to find employment here in the states and after getting settled her plan was to reunite with her children here.  Let me just say right here that I’m not sure I would be able to leave my children and go to a foreign land not knowing if or when I would see them again, but this is a common practice for women in foreign countries.  Their determination to better their living situations drives them to pursue every opportunity that comes their way and even sometimes carve out opportunities that many others might miss.  Peggy was “successful” in her quest; I put quotation marks around “successful” because  it took many, many years before she was reunited with her children. After spending thousands of dollars on lawyers (many who just ripped her off), she was able to secure their transport here. They were grown by then. She was able to get a sponsor for the first child and that child in turn, sponsored her so she was able to get her citizenship. I think of all the years she missed. Margaret, on the other hand, after living here for a while, working, trying to make a life, was having trouble getting her citizenship. Her visa was about to expire and she definitely didn’t want to go back home – so she came up with a plan. She decided that she would befriend one of those homeless guys and propose that they marry in order for her to stay in the country.  Now I know what you’re thinking but let me tell you, Margaret did just that.  She befriended a homeless guy, took him to get cleaned up, brought him some new clothes and things and began dating him.  When she proposed marriage to him, he was delighted.  They wound up getting married and believe it or not, they are still married to this day (some 25 plus years later). She transformed his life and he hers.  How’s that for reciprocity!!!! 

I’m not advocating that women (or men) go this route but what I’m saying is that you should never count anyone out.  In the words of Audrey Hepburn, “People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone\” .

This turned out to be truly a transformative arrangement, more than meets the eye!!

Leave it to women to come up with creative ways to solve problems. We truly make the best leaders as well as the best partners. We are great innovators, engineers, multi-taskers, and problem solvers. Throw in a little compassion and sensitivity – I ask you, what more could you ask for?