His World Through My Eyes

Crazy time. Too much emotion, don’t know

How to explain this out of control feeling.

Locked in a room with too many doors, not

Knowing which one to open.

Scribbling words that perhaps mean nothing.

Can’t unscramble them to make any sense.

Not wanting to be here.

Maybe there are no meaningful words to speak

Maybe it’s time for action.

That circuitous motion of life so confining, so

confusing at times.  I want to step off but

I can’t seem to slow it down enough to redirect that

energy.

I tried crying, yelling, screaming, scratching,

clawing, fighting it out, only to be right back where I started.

And then I jumped…………..

Never been this way before, nothing looks familiar

Insecurity at its peak

I’m not sure how to feel, not sure how to act or react

Never sure just what is expected of me.

Needing that security of “What is mine”.  Tired

Of living in the shadow of somebody else’s dream

Given a number 4039 – my number – even though I’d trade

It all for that freedom to live, to breath, to occupy.

Wanting to spread my wings, to soar to mountain tops

And see the world from a different perspective never

Coming back down this path again.

Creating a new path, finding my way, clouds heavy but

Manageable – got to keep pushing through.  Forcing myself

To see things a new way

People expressing their idea of me, yet who dares

To see me as I am. Nobody seeing how their actions/

Inactions contributed to my here and now.

And now I know it’s not about them anymore. It’s about

Me finding my space, holding on to what is real,

Alive and powerful in my life

Starting anew, I’m still moving, this time moving forward.

They say I have nothing, they say I AM nothing

Yet in all my nothingness I have more than they’ll ever know.

They don’t know my spirit. They can’t see what’s happening

In this place nor do they care.

And although that hurts – their non-caring, I must

hold fast to that spirit that lives in me that comforts my

Fears, that makes me know that there’s something better

Waiting for me.  It’s mine for the taking

Just have to keep reaching and keep moving and not

Allow someone else’s definition of me to be my reality.

Never going to let them kill my spirit, I will never

Succumb to their skewed vision of how they

Once saw me – still see me?

Putting my focus on things above, taking my

inventory,  making my way to higher ground

I stand firm “forgetting the things which are

behind, and stretching forward to the things

which are before me, pressing towards the mark,”

Clouds finally lifting, sun pushing through……..

DAYLIGHT!!!!!