Can You Handle It?

OK, so I’ll admit, I was a little unusual when it came to raising my children. I always kept in mind that someday, they would be on their own and needed to be able to take care of themselves; therefore everything I did, I did with that fact in mind. Oftentimes people would think that I was cruel because I required the children to be as independent as possible at a young age. As infants I got them up early, dressed (including shoes), fed them, hair combed and ready to go even when we had no definite plans. I taught them that everyday has a purpose and we need to be ready. Very early on I showed them how to make lunch for the three of them, how to do the laundry and to get their own breakfast. One hard fast rule was that they couldn’t sleep in my room. Everybody had their designated bed even though they tended to all sleep in the same space (usually on the floor).  That was fine with me just as long as it wasn\’t in my room! When I first brought Yamil home from the hospital, he had his own bed in a completely different room. It was important for me to be able to get some sleep if I was going to be able to handle him all day. Everybody knows that children make noises in their sleep. If he was in the room with me then I would wake up every time he made any kind of sound. This way, I would only get up when he was actually crying and ready to eat. I had a little blue bird that was fastened to his crib. There was a string on the bird and when it was pulled it made a tweeting sound. After only a few months (probably around six months) he would pull that string and I would know that he was up. Now I realize that a lot of people (probably a majority of people) disagree with me about this. Just about everybody I know allowed their children to sleep in the bed with them. I tell you I just can’t handle it!!!! My theory was that you shouldn’t start something that you can’t continue. Every person I know that tries to get their children out of the habit of sleeping in their bed has big time problems!!! There were only two occasions when I let one or all of the children sleep in my room.

As a treat one night, I decided that they all could sleep in my room. The children were around 3, 6 and 8 at the time.  Perhaps I was feeling a little guilty about not EVER letting them sleep with me. Even though I have a king size bed, it still was going to be a challenge for me. I’m not a wild sleeper so once I have my little space (which is on the edge of the bed), I’m perfectly content. They all were very excited about the prospect of “sleeping in mommy’s room”.  I, of course, was dreading it. We did the whole nine yards that night – movie, popcorn, juice boxes. Before long everybody was settled in with their various comforts…… blankets, stuffed animals, etc. Already I was feeling overwhelmed. They seemed to be not just taking up all of the space, but all of the air as well. I just don’t know how people survive with children in the bed!! After a while, they seemed to be settling down. One by one, they started falling asleep. As for me, I was fully awake and MISERABLE!!! Finally about 1am I got up and carried each of them back to their respective beds. That was the one and only time I allowed them all to sleep in my bed – so much for bonding. Imagine their surprise when they woke up not in mommy’s bed.

The other occasion I had to let just one of them sleep in my room came not long after that experience.  We had just come in from our usual evening outside play at the park.  The children were in their normal competitive mode – racing from the car, seeing who could touch the door first (oh brother – must everything be a competition!!). I had already gone inside and retreated to my room when I suddenly heard loud cries from the front room. Next thing I knew Yamil came running carrying his little sister Nayda who was bleeding profusely from her head.  Meanwhile, Maya was crying and hollering for me to take her to the hospital. Nayda herself was crying but not wailing like Maya. I immediately started trying to find out where the blood was coming from. After some investigation, I discovered that she had a gash just above her ear in her scalp.  Apparently in all the hustle and bustle of competition, Nayda fell (or she got pushed) into the coffee table which had a pretty sharp edge. Since both of my girls had a lot of hair, it was difficult to find the exact location of the bleed. One thing for sure, head injuries definitely bleed a lot!!!! I finally was able to control the bleeding. I had to work to calm Maya down. She’s the one that needed to be hospitalized – not Nayda!  Nayda was doing fine, confident that “mommy could take care of it”; however, Maya wanted to pull out all the stops. She was wailing and begging me to take Nayda to the hospital. I had remembered my mother saying that you have to be careful about head injuries and not to let the person sleep right away. Although Nayda seemed quite lethargic, I felt that she was OK.  That night, I broke my rule and made a pallet on the floor in my bedroom for her to sleep. Equipped with all of her creature comforts, (stuff animal friends), dirty bird, clean bird, and little egg, there she slept on the floor at the end of my bed until morning broke.  That night I wound up getting up what seemed to be every hour, checking her to see if she was ok. I just can’t do it…..Children in the bed, children in the room – NO WAY!!!!  It took me two days to recover from that ordeal.