Bravery

Long before my middle child, Maya, walked those blocks to school from the babysitter’s house alone, I knew she was very brave. When she was about 18 months old, I discovered that she had an inguinal hernia. It was difficult to determine when she was in pain because, like her brother, she was a crier. The doctor kept prompting me to have it repaired sooner rather than later. After waiting for sometime (about a year), I decided to let the doctor do the hernia repair.   Of course I was nervous about the procedure and was dreading taking her to have it done.  We were living in Brooklyn at the time and the Hospital where she would finally have it done was in Staten Island. As the surgery day approached I became more and more anxious. The morning of the procedure I got her up and dressed and my son and I proceeded to take her to the hospital.  When it came time for them to take blood and then give her a sedative, I thought I would pass out.  My legs became weak as they prepared her arm. I was bracing myself for a horrible scene in the holding area.  To my surprise, my little girl bravely sat up in the crib that they provided for her and without any fanfare, let them take blood and then give her the anesthesia.  I proceeded to pace back and forth the whole entire time she was in the operating room. Once they let me go back to see her, I found her sitting up in the crib just staring into space.  When I approached the crib she merely raised her arms up for me to pick her up.  All the nurses were so impressed at how well she behaved.  There was no crying, no screaming or kicking (that came some years later), she just got it done!! The hospital staff gave her all kinds of stickers and raved about her braveness.  Her brother and I proceeded to take her home. Once there, he waited on her hand and foot.  Her main request was for a tissue.  She used to take a tissue and rub her nose while she sucked her two fingers.  By the next morning, I awoke to find that my son (although he was only 3½ at the time,  had somehow got her out of the crib and they were back to their normal routine – fighting!  Although she was about two at the time, I had plenty of occasions to witness her bravery since then.  One such occasion was on a field trip with her elementary school class to a petting farm here in Maryland.  I decided that I would chaperone. What was I thinking?!!!!! Everybody that knows me knows that I DON’T DO ANIMALS!!!!  I’m strictly a “city” girl. Needless to say, I was NOT enjoying that field trip.  Suddenly a rooster about Maya\’s height started strutting his way towards us.  Maya seemed to be fascinated by this creature.  I immediately started sprinting towards the car for safety while my brave little girl welcomed the rooster to invade her space.  I knew right then and there that this was going to be my adventurous child.

The odd thing about it is Maya was the child that never wanted to be away from me. To get her to go away to college was quite a challenge.  Every college visit became a tortuous, painful experience for me.  This is when the kicking and screaming came in!!!  After deciding on a school and getting her there, it became a whole different world for her. She winded up going to Spain as a “study abroad” student.  During her time there, she traveled to England and even Lithuania!  She reminds me of my mother (by the way they were both born in March).  My mother was always traveling somewhere.  Although she had very little money (she worked as an educational assistant in the Public Schools) she would plan and save her money until she had enough to take a trip someplace.  I remember her going to the Bahamas, and definitely to the “Holy Land” twice!!!! I’m so sorry that my mother and Maya didn’t really get a chance to know each other. They would have been great traveling buddies.   In the months leading up to my mother’s death,   I would lay Maya on the bed next to my mother and although she was only three/four months old, she would start babbling away.  I really think they were kindred spirits!!  I have to think that she must have consulted her about her future plans to move across the country because one day, some years later, Maya announced that she was moving to LA.  Now don’t get me wrong, she is a planner.  She likes to have all the details mapped out before hand.  She had done extensive research on living in LA, the cost of living, the salary she would need to make in order to survive, how much food would cost, how much for gas, etc.  She applied for a job and, of course, got it and proceeded to gather her things and move clear across the country. She found a roommate off “Craig’s List” and as it turned out, things worked out perfectly.

Five years later, another announcement came……”Mommy I’m coming back to Maryland”. But not only was she coming back – but she was driving!!!!!!  Her….by herself….. in a Fiat (which she named Giovanni)…. with stuff!!!!  My immediate response was “Let us pray”.  You can’t imagine how I was feeling about that. I thought I was going to have to resort to my old friend Maalox!  I knew that even if I wanted to go and help, I couldn’t possibly withstand the drive.  I was sure that they would have to call the fire department to come with the “jaws of life” to pry me out of that cute little Fiat by the time I reached Maryland.  As it turned out, she did have company for the first part of the trip – from LA to Las Cruces, NM. and she had mapped out places she would spend the night along the way.  One night in Las Cruces to see her grandmother and then with her dad in El Paso, Texas. One night with a former co-worker in Austin, Texas, then a long stretch to Memphis where she would stay with dear friends of mine. Next stop was Kentucky and final destination, Maryland!!!  That was perhaps the longest five days of my life.  I would check the map, it seems every hour, tracking where she would be and when.  Of course we spent countless hours on the phone.  I’m sure by the time she arrived in Maryland and saw me I looked at least 100 years old!!!!

Through it all, I applaud her bravery.  I love her spirit of adventure, her enthusiasm for life; her willingness and zest to study, to know and experience different cultures.  Her love of language, of people and her determination to find her spot in the world both scares and excites me.  That’s my brave Maya!!!  Look out world, here she comes!!!