A new day dawning
Him pushing to get done the regular stuff that Sunday\’s demand
Through study, I\’ve come to know that nervous chatter,
His spirit restless, uncomfortable.
Those are the moments I just want to hold him.
Wish I could crawl up beside him and let him know
he\’s not alone, that everything will be \”just fine\”.
I sense his reluctance
Finding the courage, not that liquid courage
but that real courage, to face whatever
awaits him this day, this time, this visit.
Will he be received or will rejection come hard and heavy
Reminding him of how he somehow failed.
But I applaud his determination to face whatever awaits
him. Knowing there was a time when he would just
Check out – retreating to wherever that temporary
State of being would lure him. Someplace where
He didn’t have to feel those things that hurt him,
A lonely place……
A place where nobody really cared and He cared about
Nobody.
Focusing only on the next time, the next thing
The next time when he could feel the comfort of nothingness
That place where nothing was expected of him.
That place where nobody took him seriously
And yet he kept, he keeps fighting, taking that
Trek up the hill, walking in to find them together
Wanting to say nothing but longing to see acceptance
And love in their eyes – wanting them to understand
That yes, he’s made some mistakes
But he’s still here, he still loves them, he still needs them
On his side.
And today – no condemnation. Dad with a certain anxiousness
Asking lots of questions…..
Mom, more alert today – ready to eat, trying to tell him
Things – perhaps trying to reassure him that everything
Will be “just fine”.
How blessed and comforted he feels today,
Having spent some time with them – in that home away from home.
They see him out, sitting in the hallway, watching him
Take that walk that he’s taken just about every Sunday for
The past 2-½ years.
Never knowing what to expect but just needing to be there
He knows all too well that things could change at any moment.
There will come a time when he won\’t come here, when this
will be just a memory…….
He glances back one more time.
Precious and few are the moments shared.
2 Responses
Memories are beautiful!
Beautiful!